Who Even Are You? 

So, first off my name is not Sally. You can call me Nicola or Nic or Nico, whatever you fancy, just not Sally. 

The name Social Media Sally was given to me by my neglected boyfriend whenever he would catch me staring hypnotically at my phone. I hated the nickname and I also hated social media – although you wouldn’t have thought it if you calculated the hours I spent glued to my phone looking at pictures of Chaniqua ‘Proud Mummy’ Tequila’s 7th child or how many Apple products Twatface Tim owns. I wish they were real names but unfortunately they are real people.  

When I say social media I mean Facebook, Instagram, Snapchat and any other outlets for lying, cheating, faking, bragging and lifestyle competitions. It might seem slightly drastic but I really do believe it’s poison for your brain, as my boyfriend stated on numerous occasions. And I hate to say it but he was 100% right. I’m well aware that you can find all of these things in most places on the internet but I also believe social media does not benefit me in any way at all. Unless you count the small momentary connection I feel whilst flicking through a distant relative’s photos. What happened to visiting people or picking up a phone? Ok, I’m not a fan of phone calls which means I have a way to go yet but anyway, back to the story.

I woke up on July 30th 2016, reached for my phone as soon as I woke up and wasted my time scrawling through absolute bollocks until it was time to get in the shower. Then something clicked, I got angry at myself and annoyed at the stupid crap I’d just plowed into my brain and somewhere amidst my inner rage all social media apps on my phone were deleted.

Big step for Social Media Sally but only 6 days in and I can say it’s been the best hop, skip and jump I’ve taken in a long time. I hate to get all spiritual but I really do feel empowered and like I’ve had some kind of airy fairy awakening. 

In 6 days I’ve been glued to Duolingo, an app for learning Italian. My boyfriend is slightly annoyed as I’m beating his score like my life depends on it. It’s something that’s been on my bucket list for too long and I plan to visit my relatives in Italy as soon as I can string a sentence or two together. And now I’ve decided to write a blog about my social media cleanse and any other positives that come from it. And most importantly, apart from checking my birthday messages and thanking people i haven’t once been tempted to download all the apps again. I would love it if anyone else is on a social media cleanse or would like to join me. There are no rules, only to make yourself feel mentally clean and free and to enrich your brain with all the good things. 

Below is a recent photo of me up Mount Etna in Sicily. This is how I feel without social media. Ciao.

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